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KVC Kentucky

How to Practice Self-Care According to Your Love Language

So much of our daily life is spent focusing our energy on others. With demanding schedules, a whirlwind of responsibilities and obligations that require our attention, it can be easy to forget to nurture ourselves along the way. To avoid burnout and maintain our overall wellbeing, self-care practices are crucial — and especially in ways that speak to our needs best. 

How can we determine what kinds of self-care will be most impactful for us personally? Enter: Love languages! The concept of “love languages” first appeared in the 1992 book, The Five Love Languages. Author and couples counselor Gary Chapman revealed that there are five common ways people understand love — both in how it’s received and how it’s communicated to others. In Chapman’s theory, each of us identifies most with one of five love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. 

While love languages are typically used for interpersonal relationships, they can also be utilized for personal benefit, through self-care practices. Understanding your love language can help you tailor your self-care routines to meet your specific needs. 

Find out why practicing self-care is important, and explore self-care practices based on each of the five love languages. These practices allow you to prioritize self-love and care in the most personalized way.

Why Self-care Matters

Self-care is essential to maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. It allows you to recharge, refresh, and mindfully prioritize your wellbeing, ultimately benefiting all areas of your life. Developing a routine self-care practice sets the stage for you to mindfully give back to yourself. Let’s explore where self-care has an impact. 

Mental Health

Self-care benefits your mental health by reducing stress, anxiety and burnout. It allows you to manage and improve your mental health. Self-care activities like meditation, deep breathing exercises or engaging in hobbies can help people to relax and nurture positive mental health.

Physical Health

Self-Care Practices

Engaging in regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep and practicing good hygiene are all part of self-care. Caring for your physical health can lead to increased energy levels, improved immunity and a reduced risk of chronic illnesses. And that’s a big benefit of self-care!

Emotional Wellbeing 

Self-care helps in managing and regulating emotions. It allows you to acknowledge and address your feelings, leading to improved emotional stability and resilience. Activities like journaling, therapy, spending time with loved ones or engaging in hobbies can enhance emotional wellbeing.

Increased Productivity

When you take care of yourself, you can better handle the challenges and demands of daily life. Self-care delivers many productivity benefits, including improving focus, concentration and motivation. This can lead to increased productivity in various aspects of life, including your work, studies and other personal goals.

Enhanced Relationships

Self-Care Practices

Practicing self-care enables you to have a healthier relationship with yourself and others. When you prioritize your own wellbeing, you are more equipped to communicate and connect with others effectively. Self-care allows you to set boundaries, express your needs, and engage in meaningful relationships.

Self-esteem and Self-worth

Self-care activities that promote compassion and self-love contribute to building a positive self-image. When you invest in yourself, you believe in yourself! That’s why taking time for yourself and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can boost self-esteem and self-worth.

Discover Your Love Language 

Since self-care is all about intentionally giving back to yourself in meaningful ways, understanding how you receive love through your love language allows your self-care routines to better fit your needs. Not sure which love language is yours? Take a quick quiz to find out here!

If you feel like two or more love languages resonate, there’s no need to limit yourself! Try several ways of self-care by exploring different love languages. So how can you best care for yourself based on your love language?


If your love language is words of affirmation, that means you feel most uplifted when people share their love, appreciation and respect for you, verbally or through written communication. Do you light up when your partner sends a compliment via text, or when your child tells you how much they love you? Or do you use communication to share your love for others? Then words of affirmation might be your love language!

Your self-care: Choose self-care practices that involve positive self-talk and affirmations, as those can be incredibly powerful. Consider creating a daily affirmation routine, where you write down and recite positive statements about yourself and your capabilities. Additionally, journaling and writing down your accomplishments and goals can be a great way to reinforce self-belief and boost self-esteem.

People who prefer the love language of quality time want to be the object of undivided attention (or give that attention to someone they care about!). It’s about feeling cherished and prioritized by simply spending meaningful time together. If you feel fulfilled after a full day of time with someone you care about, or you love to give time to those you love, quality time may be your love language!

Your self-care: For individuals who thrive on quality time, self-care can look like carving out dedicated moments to spend quality time with yourself! Disconnect from technology and engage in activities you genuinely enjoy, such as reading a book, treating yourself to a solo coffee date, taking a walk in nature or practicing meditation. Prioritize these moments of solitude to recharge and cultivate a deeper connection with yourself.

If acts of service is your love language, your day is probably brightened when a loved one does an activity that makes your life easier — or when you help fix a problem for someone you love! This might include running errands, picking up the dry cleaning, doing the grocery shopping, filling the car’s gas tank or other chores.

Your self-care: If you connect with the acts of service love language, self-care practices can involve taking care of practical tasks and responsibilities that contribute to your overall wellbeing. Think about “paying it forward” — to yourself! These activities might include meal prepping healthy for nourishing meals, decluttering your living space or scheduling regular self-care appointments like massages or spa treatments. By taking care of these elements, you can alleviate stress and create a nurturing environment for yourself.

Is physical touch your love language? You’ll feel fulfilled after physical connection: hugging a friend, holding hands with a partner, cuddling with your children or even petting a dog or cat. 

Your self-care: For those who thrive on physical touch, self-care practices may involve engaging in activities that promote physical well-being and comfort. Consider incorporating activities like yoga, pilates, dancing or taking warm baths with bubbles or essential oils into your self-care routine. Going even further, self-massage or using tools like foam rollers can help release tension and promote relaxation.

Self-Care Practices

If your love language is receiving gifts, you feel cared for when you receive (or give!) a tangible and special gift. Whether it’s a tiny trinket or a special surprise, the magnitude doesn’t matter, but the intentionality is crucial. Holiday gift-giving might be particularly meaningful to you if this is your love language!

Your self-care: Self-care practices can involve treating yourself to small, meaningful gifts that bring you joy and comfort. This can range from buying yourself fresh flowers, lighting a special candle, indulging in your favorite dessert or purchasing a new book or item that you’ve been wanting. Remember, these gifts don’t need to be extravagant or break the budget. It’s the thought and intention behind them that matters.

Understanding your love language can provide valuable insights into the most effective self-care practices for you. By tailoring your self-care practices to align with your love language, you can enhance your overall wellbeing and deepen your connection with yourself. 

KVC Kentucky wants you to remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessary investment in your physical, emotional, and mental health. If you or a loved one are struggling with self-love or self-care, there are several mental health resources available to help. Prioritize self-love and care, and watch as it positively impacts all areas of your life.


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