Parents and caregivers will agree: even though the giggles and memorable moments bring so much joy, parenting is one of the most demanding jobs a human can take on. With long hours, few breaks, a never-ending to-do list and the responsibility of ensuring the safety and wellbeing of another person’s life, we can all agree: caregiving isn’t easy.

Even under the best of circumstances, taking care of a child or teen can be tough. Now imagine taking on this vital role while also navigating mental health challenges of your own. Parents who experience depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders know how hard these hurdles are. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Explore the impact of mental health on parenting, and how mental health support for families can help.

How Mental Health Affects Parenting

For many parents, living with mental health conditions while also managing the demands of family life can manifest in feelings of shame and guilt. If you’re parenting with mental health challenges, take heart: You’re not alone. 

Over the past few years, research has shown that approximately 34% of parents reported elevated levels of anxiety and about 28% reported symptoms of depression that were at the point of clinical concern. Parenting with anxiety or depression is common. On top of this, studies have revealed that about 4% of parents are battling serious mental health disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and psychosis. These findings further prove that parenting with a mental health condition is far more common than we think.

As a parent, every day can feel like a roller coaster. And that can make it hard to determine whether you’re simply going through a busy season or in need of support for your own mental health.

Here are some signs that you might be facing more than the everyday stress of caregiving:

• Mood changes, including irritability, anger, uncontrollable highs and lows
• Changes in normal habits, like sleeping or eating more or less than usual
• Loss of interest in activities, including personal and social interactions that normally bring you joy
• Behavioral changes, like outbursts of anger, persistent crying or withdrawal from those you love
• Substance misuse, especially when habits change 
• Other difficulties, like concentration, learning or perceptions of reality 

Whether a parent is struggling with their mental health or not, they can increase their confidence with parenting classes, manage mental health challenges through counseling and therapy and develop a mental health toolkit filled with coping skills. This can help mitigate the effects of mental health challenges and increase resilience for both the parents and their children. 

How Parenting with Mental Health Challenges Affect Children 

Today, children and teens are battling their mental health more than ever before. In fact, the increase is so substantial that the Surgeon General has declared that the U.S. is dealing with a youth mental health crisis. 

Perhaps even more interesting is the correlation between a parent’s mental health condition and that of their children. A recent study found that children (especially teens) who are dealing with depression were five times more likely to have a parent with depression, and those with anxiety were three times more likely to have a parent who struggles with anxiety. 

This data suggests a potentially increased risk for children to develop mental health challenges if they have a parent who also struggles. However, numerous factors are involved in whether or not a parent’s mental health will impact their children in the long run.

These risk factors include: 

• How the condition affects the parent’s behavior
• The age of the child and stage of development 
• The duration and severity of the parent’s disorder
• The degree of stress caused by the condition
• How the symptoms interfere with positive interactions with their children

Another reason to be hopeful: research is now finding that a child’s negative mental health symptoms are significantly reduced or disappear completely when their parent is actively receiving treatment for depression and their own symptoms improve. Seeking support from an organization like KVC Kentucky can benefit the whole family — children and parents together.

Supporting Children When a Mental Health Condition is Present 

Coping with mental illness as a parent is difficult. But there are countless positive ways for parents to endure and play an active role in contributing to their child’s healthy development! Here are some ways to support your children, creating resilience and stability as they grow. 

Practice self-compassion

Children pick up on their parent’s emotions and learn from their habits. Shifting feelings of shame and guilt into self-compassion and kindness is key. You’ll be a positive role model of self-love for your children, even when life feels dark. And you might also find an improved ability to cope with your own ups and downs. 

Encourage carefree playtime

Children are perceptive. And whether we know it or not, they are likely to be aware of their parent’s emotional shifts. With mental health challenges present, children may feel that it’s part of their responsibility to carry some of the weight for their parents. Ensure that children know that they can run, play, be carefree and develop supportive peer friendships. Encourage your children to engage in activities that bring them joy, even if finding joy might be challenging for you.

Create structure with routines

Most children thrive on routines. Research has shown that keeping a routine helps offset feelings of anxiety and creates feelings of stability for both children and adults. If you as a parent are struggling with instability in your own mental health, structure can feel like a great gift to everyone in your family (including you!). Find the essentials for creating structure and routines for children here. 

Remain open and honest

Keep an open line of communication with your children. While you might feel nervous to share at first, remember that we all need connection and things feel less scary when we talk about them together. Use age-appropriate language to express what is happening, sharing in a way the child can understand without feeling afraid. No matter what details you choose to share, stay honest and reinforce that they are loved and they are safe.

Seek support from a mental health professional

Children may feel the effects of their parent’s mental health and need support working through and understanding their surroundings. Therapy can help them process mental health and family dynamics. Depending on their age, talk therapy or art therapy may provide them and their parents with a sense of direction. 

Involve another trusted adult

Consider a trusted relative, friend, teacher, coach or therapist as an alternate stable and caring adult for the children. These adults regularly help the children cope, build resilience and overcome challenges. This is a win-win. Children thrive with many great role models in their lives!

Children are resilient — and adults are too! Parents navigating a mental health condition can still be successful and have a positive impact on their children’s development, and the right support from friends, family and professionals can make all the difference. There is hope, and we can help. You can get the insight, direction and connection families need from the trusted experts at KVC Kentucky. KVC Kentucky offers behavioral health services in many locations across our state. Contact us today to learn more.