Raising a child with complex needs can be overwhelming and isolating. It can feel like there is nothing available to help you, and you should be able to figure it out on your own; and many sources of support and intervention have negative associations that leave parents and caregivers afraid to ask for help.

When Lauren and Richard welcomed their miracle baby, Gabriel, they never imagined the complex needs that he would have as he grew up. But those needs would lead them on a journey from crisis to hope as they discovered the support of organizations like KVC Kentucky. Get inspired by their story of transformation.

A Family in Crisis

Lauren and Richard lost their first baby in 2014, so they believed they might never be able to have children. When Lauren became pregnant again with Gabriel three years later, it felt like a miracle! The pregnancy was difficult and high-risk, but ultimately they were able to bring home a baby boy! While Gabriel was colicky as a baby and rather sensitive to noises and touch, the real difficulty began in the toddler years.

Lauren and Richard quickly noticed that Gabriel’s behavioral challenges were much more than a typical three-year-old. He started to become extremely violent toward his parents, even biting, kicking and punching. They tried many different consequences and interventions, but nothing seemed to help. At the time, they were living with Richard’s parents, and Lauren remembers how much tension there was in the home over who had the authority to decide what was best for Gabriel. While Lauren hoped this would improve once they were in their own house, things only seemed to get worse once Gabriel started Kindergarten.

The family had a 504 plan (a way for schools to provide support for students with a disability so that they can learn in a typical classroom) and an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for Gabriel. But his kindergarten was not equipped to handle his behavioral challenges. Gabriel would become violent with the teachers and was highly disruptive in class, even leading a teacher to lose their temper. 

When Lauren spoke up about the issue, the school responded by removing Gabriel from the classroom. She remembers how hopeless and helpless she felt.

“I just didn’t know how to help my child,” recalls Lauren. “I remember thinking, ‘I don’t even know what’s wrong with him or why he’s doing this. This is not normal child behavior.’”

How CPS and Family Support Services in Kentucky Joined Forces to Help Gabriel

After Gabriel made a concerning comment that was later found to be untrue, a teacher followed protocol and contacted Child Protective Services (CPS). “The way we were raised is that you always fear CPS. I thought the only outcome was losing my child,” says Lauren, remembering how afraid she was of the agent. 

Yet it was immediately clear that Gabriel was physically healthy and well cared for. He showed no signs of injury, wore clean, well-fitting clothes and had a well-kept room filled with toys. “And then here I am sitting in rags with bruises on me and a splint on my finger,” shares Lauren, the irony not lost on her.

When the CPS agent asked about Lauren’s injuries, she told the agent everything. From Gabriel’s lashing out at home and school, how nothing seemed to help and how she was at her wits’ end trying to figure out what to do, she was honest about the heartbreaking challenges the family experienced every day. 

This moment of opening up to the agent was the turning point for the family. “The agent said, ‘This is not an abused child case by any means, and we’re going to get you the help you need,’” Lauren remembers. While Lauren still was unsure of what would happen next, she now looks back at that moment as a turning point. Her son’s life was about to change for the better.

A Lifeline through KVC Kentucky

CPS connected Lauren with KVC Kentucky, where she met their Family Care Coordinator, Corrina. With the multitude of challenges, Lauren was still skeptical about KVC’s ability to really help. “But I was willing to try anything!” she says. Corrina was instrumental in connecting the family to many resources they needed for Gabriel, including therapy, Early Child Intervention Services (ECIS), Home and Community-based Services (HCBS) and KVC’s own Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) with KVC clinician Paige.

The Role of KVC’s Family Care Coordinator in Kentucky’s Support Services

Lauren credits Corrina for playing a pivotal role in helping them care for Gabriel, sharing how much she and Gabriel miss her now that they’ve completed the program. In the beginning, Corrina helped Lauren complete applications to the various resources and programs, showed her how to organize her records to make these processes easier and advocated for the family on every phone call and application process. Corrina took decisive action to make sure Gabriel got the help he needed, going above and beyond every step of the way.

Gabriel had seemed to be doing better for a while, and Lauren was feeling encouraged. But suddenly, he had a psychotic break while on the school bus. As Gabriel had a breakdown on the bus, convinced he was covered in spiders, the driver stopped the bus and called Lauren for help. Devastated and frantic, Lauren finally got Gabriel home. Unsure where else to turn, her first call was to Corrina. Corrina immediately came over to help and went with Lauren to a child crisis stabilization center once they were able to set up safe transportation for Gabriel. Corrina didn’t leave until Gabriel was safely back home and calm in his bed.

Through this experience, Lauren learned that one of Gabriel’s medications was amplifying his existing fears and phobias to the point of extreme paranoia and hallucinations. They immediately stopped Gabriel’s medication, and Corrina called the family nearly every day for a week to check on his progress, offer support and make sure they had everything they needed. “She went above and beyond what her job title was,” effuses Lauren.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)

The other key member of Gabriel’s care team was their Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) clinician, Paige. Gabriel loved when Paige came to visit, and she helped the family establish more positive and effective interactions, with everything from playtime to discipline. 

For example, Lauren had been using the classic timeout rule, of one minute per each year of a child’s age. But Paige explained how this consequence was too long for Gabriel because his ADHD made it difficult for him to even recall why he had that consequence in the first place! Paige equipped the family with all kinds of tools they could use and taught Gabriel healthy ways to express his emotions and work through them.

One year after beginning PCIT, the family was visiting Gabriel’s aunt’s house. Gabriel accidentally left a candy wrapper on the couch, and his aunt pointed it out, not expecting a positive reaction. To her surprise, Gabriel calmly apologized and immediately picked up the trash and threw it away. Lauren’s sister was pleasantly surprised and joked, “That is not my nephew! Where is my nephew?” But Lauren knew this shift was the result of plenty of hard work. “That is a year of therapy. A year of doing PCIT and working with him,” Lauren shared with her sister.

A Path to Stability and Hope

The family has now completed the program and concluded their time with KVC Kentucky, but Lauren feels more empowered and supported than ever. She explains that Gabriel still does have his setbacks, but they’re able to navigate through them thanks to the tools and support KVC helped equip them with, from interventions to essential medical equipment.

Through receiving the Home and Community-based Services (HCBS) waiver, they have been able to get Gabriel the right kind of car seat, a wheelchair, effective medication and even a specialized bed he can zip into when he needs help calming down. Gabriel loves the therapeutic bed and will ask her to zip him in during times if he’s feeling overwhelmed.

Encouragement and Hope: Ongoing Support Through Kentucky’s Family Services Network

While they are no longer working directly with KVC Kentucky, Lauren is at peace knowing that if they need help again, KVC is only a phone call away. Lauren acknowledged that this spring brought some challenging behaviors at school, but she remains confident.

“Corrina told me that if I ever needed KVC again, I could reach out and they’ll be there to help. That right there made it where I know that through the rest of this journey, I won’t have to be alone. There will be somebody there to help me, and that means a whole lot.” 

If your family or someone you know needs support, don’t hesitate to reach out to KVC Kentucky! We’re here for you and your children and are ready to do whatever it takes to help you get the support you need.