What if the key to a child’s success in life wasn’t just learning math or science, but learning to truly understand and connect with others? Teaching children kindness doesn’t only improve a child’s social skills —it sets them up for a life of connection and meaning.

February is National Random Acts of Kindness Month, making it a perfect time for parents and caregivers to reflect on how they can instill empathy and compassion in their children. Research suggests that the sooner people learn to empathize, the greater and longer-lasting emotional benefits are. 

Whether it’s lending a hand to a classmate, donating to a local charity or sharing an affirming word, random acts of kindness can make the world a better place one person at a time. Discover why teaching compassion to your children matters, and get ideas to incorporate random acts of kindness into your everyday life as a family.

Kindness: The Unexpected Key to Boosting Wellbeing

When we think of ways to live happier and healthier lives it’s easy to focus on self-improvement. Things like healthy eating, a trip to the gym or journaling might come to mind. While self-care is crucial to wellbeing, we don’t want to overlook our connections to our friends, family and community.

Kindness has many mental and physical health benefits, including:

• Increased levels of oxytocin, which is good for blood pressure, heart health, self-esteem and optimism
• Heightened energy levels
• Decreased feelings of depression and isolation
• A longer lifespan
• Activation of the brain’s pleasure and reward centers (the “helper’s high”)
• And stimulated serotonin production, the “feel-good” chemical in the brain that calms you down and makes you feel happy

Children who are actively seeking ways to show kindness to others will naturally become more compassionate and empathetic to those around them. Studies have discovered that empathy is correlated with resilience, self-esteem and academic achievement. Ultimately, empathy is crucial to overall life satisfaction and building a strong, healthy community. 

Coaching for Kindness: Cultivating Compassion in Children

It’s never too early to start teaching empathy and kindness to children. At the same time, it’s never too late! From newborns through teenagers, here are some age-appropriate tips. 

Babies and Toddlers

For babies, notice how your baby reacts to different facial expressions. Even when as young as six months old, babies look to their caregivers to navigate the world around them! For example, when passing a baby to a grandparent or babysitter to hold, you can smile warmly and reassuringly. 

Toddlers often have big feelings, but without the big vocabulary to express them. When toddlers can recognize and name their own feelings, they’re better able to notice those feelings in others. Which is key for empathy. You can try using “feeling” words in conversation. For example, “Did you feel happy when we played at the park today?” or “Did you feel sad when we had to put our toys away?” 

Preschoolers and Young Children

As children start interacting more with others, at preschool or kindergarten, challenges can arise. Things like arguing over toys, deciding what to play or sharing crayons can be tough. You can encourage children towards empathy by inviting them to see the impact of their actions on others. For example, “Olivia seems sad that she’s playing all by herself. Can you share a toy with her?” 

Random Acts of Kindness: Creating a Regular Practice of Compassion with Children and Teens

When a person who is struggling — whether that be personally, physically, emotionally or financially — receives a random act of kindness, that one small act can completely transform their day or week for the better. Random acts of kindness can look different depending on both the person performing the act and the person receiving it. Here are some examples of acts of kindness and how you can help your children build a regular practice of kindness and feel a greater sense of joy, purpose and belonging.

Have Good Manners

Teaching your kids to be polite and have good manners may not seem like an act of kindness, but these little moments can make someone else’s day! A cashier who is having a difficult shift at the grocery store can feel a small moment of joy when a child or teen tells them “hello,” “goodbye” or “thank you.” Taking it a step further and teaching children to call people by their names, whether it be the local librarian or a new friend at the playground, will help those around them feel seen and valued.

Check-In with Others

An act of kindness may be as simple as checking in on those you care about and being an active listener. Teach your child to notice when someone seems to be feeling low and what they can say to spark an encouraging conversation and be more understanding of a different perspective. 

Has it been a little while since your child or teen has connected with their grandparents, aunts or uncles? Encouraging them to video chat with extended family can brighten that family member’s day, and it teaches your child the power of connection!

Make a Personalized Gift

Giving gifts is much more fulfilling than receiving them, especially when a child puts in the effort to make or bake the gift themselves! These gifts can be delivered to loved ones, vulnerable populations or even just gifted to strangers at the park as a surprise to lift their spirits.

Practice Positive Affirmation

Compliment those around you often, and teach your kids to do the same! Set a good example for your child by providing them with frequent positive affirmations, focusing on their strengths and hard work rather than appearance and outcome. For example, instead of “Good job getting an A+ on your test,” try saying, “I love how you worked so hard to study and prepare for that test.” 

Volunteer Together

Find volunteer opportunities within your community that your child can participate in alongside you! Some may be more suited to teens, like reading to the elderly or serving food at a soup kitchen, while others work for children at most ages, like joining craft time at a senior center. Teens can cultivate resilience and become more considerate of others when they practice giving back to their community.

Donate Toys or Books

Check two things off your parenting to-do list and help your children clean out their closet, selecting toys and books in good condition that they can donate to a local shelter or charity. If your child doesn’t have much in good condition, consider taking them to the store to select some toys and books to purchase and gift to children who don’t have as many blessings.

Great Parenting Starts Here

At KVC Kentucky, we are passionate about helping families thrive. Part of that means empowering parents to be the best versions of themselves and equipping them with tools and resources to parent well. Our 13-part parenting tips series is designed with this mission in mind, and you can access this free resource here!